Don't Let People's Criticism Ruin Your Dreams
As I unpacked a box of art supplies, my mother's voice echoed through the room, "What on earth are you doing? Are you planning to become an artist? Not everyone can make a living out of art."
When she saw my first few paintings (which let's just say, weren't masterpieces), her disapproval continued, "Are you going to sell these? Who would buy them? Don't you have anything better to do? Do you know that all artists are poor? Get a real job and earn a steady income."
Later, when I started organizing painting workshops, she continued her judgments, "What are you doing with your life? Stay home and relax. Do you even know how to teach? All you do is waste your time on nonsense."
Two years passed, and my mother, seeing that her words were falling on deaf ears, gave up. She finally adopted a "Whatever makes you happy" attitude. In fact, before my last workshop, she even asked, "So, are you going to 'bọc xốp' people tomorrow?" (Haha my mom doesn’t know how to speak English, hence she pronounced ‘workshop’ as in ‘bọc xốp’ in Vietnamese).
I couldn't help but laugh as I wrote these lines. I don't hold any grudges against my mother. I understand the struggles and sacrifices our parents make to provide for us. The concept of pursuing one's passions or dreams is a foreign one for many. My mother, for instance, had always dreamed of becoming a singer, but her grandmother forbade her, saying, "Singing is a useless profession." (In Vietnam's old Confucian society, singing was a profession often disdained and discouraged. It was seen as a frivolous pursuit unsuitable for serious-minded people, especially men). My mother suppressed her dreams and found solace in karaoke nights at home...
Understanding this, I feel even more compassion for my mother and myself. Not everyone has the courage to pursue their dreams, especially when those passions don't offer financial rewards. The true reward lies in the sheer joy and fulfillment it brings.
Recently, I listened to a podcast where the speaker mentioned that people often try to label us based on our interests. For example, if we enjoy painting, we're supposed to become painters and sell our art. If we have a good singing voice, we're destined to be famous singers. This narrow-minded thinking restricts our creative potential and perpetuates the notion that we must conform to societal expectations.
Perhaps we enjoy writing simply as a hobby, without the aspiration of becoming a famous author or writing a bestseller. Or maybe we love singing and find joy in performing at senior citizen centers, bringing smiles to their faces. Isn't that meaningful enough?
This is a vast topic to explore, but for now, I just want to emphasize the importance of following your interests. Instead of waiting for the 'perfect' moment, take that first step towards your dreams. You might be surprised where the journey takes you. Don't be like the crystal shop owner in "The Alchemist," who yearned to make a pilgrimage to Mecca but lost his desire once he had the means. Don't let the familiar refrain, "When I finally have enough money, I will..." bury your dreams.
As Lao Tzu famously said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
[REFLECTION PROMPTS]
- Write down 5 instances where people criticized your interests or passions as an adult, including both childhood memories and workplace experiences. How do you feel now when you recall these criticisms? What should you do to overcome people's criticism?
- Can you recall a time when you passionately pursued something but stopped after facing rejection? If you no longer cared about judgment, would you revisit this passion?
- What affirmations can you tell yourself to stay motivated and confident while pursuing your dreams?
Note: Photo credited on Unsplash.